I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
