Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
