he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
