Tell her she can't have a vagina
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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