is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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