so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
pray to the hookup gods
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
