She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
