Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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