therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
