If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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