Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
