he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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