Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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