she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Non-Jews are for practice
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
