party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
