it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
