i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
