its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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