Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
