Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
