i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
