He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he puts the penis in happiness.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
