i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
