you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
