I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
