I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
