He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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