I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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