Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
