if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Drunk is a universal language darling
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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