There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's Friday. Sex?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They have beer where we have blood.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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