# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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