So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
