Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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