I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize