it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize