Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is Oprah even human
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize