He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
