are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think i peed on brittanys purse
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
