i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
