You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize