i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
