Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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