I was born with a shot glass in my hand
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
