This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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