I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
