I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
