why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
