If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
