I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
