your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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