waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
