so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
