no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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