You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
