fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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