Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We left the knife in your bed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
